So I can't bring myself to actually write down the number. I mean I know it and I am sure you could probably guess it, but I still can't write it down. First lie, the number on my drivers license is wrong. I know that I am not the only one out there who lies about it, but I don't want to lie. Side note- I don't know why they make you put it on there maybe they should go to ranges.
First truth, I am going to use this blog as motivation. I will food journal and exercise log my life. So I can see it in black and white and maybe one day I will get far enough away from my true current number that I will be willing to share this and it with everyone.
The person who sells the biggest lies about weight loss is myself. I have always found ways to sabotage my efforts and ultimately hurt my health. I know the truths that McDonalds cheeseburgers and fries and now those oh so yummy cookies are bad for me in calories, fats and carbs - ok in every way possible, but that doesn't stop me. When I go there, I just can not bring myself to order one of their salads or at least substitute fruits for fries.
I know that typical fast food is horrible for anyone trying to lose weight and heck even if you are trying to gain weight (who are these people??) there is a better way to go about it. But the dang convenience factor. I don't know what I used before as my excuse, but now it is that I work full time and raise my son.
Let me clear the air real quick I do not feed my son fast food junk. Usually if we get him anything from fast food it is grilled chicken and then we give him vegetables. I guess my excess weight that I have had my whole life has made me so passionate that he will not be like that. So I am very sensitive that he not get sweets and fried foods. Even though I seem to be battling this with my parents who insist that he have whatever they have. I keep promising them that he will forget and move on if he doesn't have a cookie or gummi bear.
Anyway, that has been my excuse. But I have decided that should also be my reason . My beautiful son who I want to be a role model for should see that his mom is both healthy and happy. Eventually when he finds his voice, how can I say you can't have a double cheeseburger with fries and coke even though mommy is eating it.
Another lie I sell myself is I don't need daily exercise. If I look around me I can't really think of anyone who does daily exercise so this is an easy one to buy. I mean sure some people do it if they are trying to lose weight, but I don't know anyone who does it just to do it. So if they don't do it, I don't need to right? Wrong. Daily exercise is key to getting and staying fit. I want to be able to remain limber and able to keep up with Jackson as he gets bigger.
And you want to know the saddest and biggest lie of all? Those of you who are naturally slim probably won't understand this, but those of you heavier like me might. I think I actually deserve to able to eat junk. And not just occasionally but like 3 times a day. Oh this one hurts to admit, that there are many days where I will eat out at fast food or a restaurant for every meal. Biscuit in the morning, burger at lunch and say mexican for dinner. Course that doesn't add in any sweets I decide that I deserve. I decide I deserve these things, because I had a bad day or even a good day, or I don't have time to do anything else or I forgot my breakfast or lunch or I am too tired to do dinner. Do you see the lies in there? And besides the impact on my waistline if you figure I do this every weekday for a month (not that I do/did this but for example sake) at $5 a meal. That is roughly $300!!! Ugh if that doesn't make your stomach hurt who knows what will.
I said naturally slim earlier and I want to say I live with one of those gifted people. My husband is and has always been slim - no matter what he eats. Believe me he is right there with me at the mexican restaurant eating the chips and cheese dip. His waist doesn't grow, he doesn't get an extra chin, nothing. So as hard as he may try he doesn't understand the struggles I have been through. On top of all that, he is so easy going even when I tell him not to let me eat out anymore, then if I ask him to pick something up on the way home he does it. So that means that my health falls to me. All me. I have to be the one to say no and to make sure I get the proper nutrients; I have to put on my shoes and walk around the block. No one else can make me healthier.
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